All About All

Restless

2011-06-01T23:14:00.000+07:00

Still, sometimes, in the middle of the night,

or even a busy daylight,

I stood with my mind wandering.

It's not hard life I have. Though, uneasy.

The reckoning of the yet unresolved,

shed a tears over and over again.

Then the envious heart tore itself,

caught myself in despair,

for faith sometimes flown away nerveless.

There was I,

with my two eyes wide opened

and the wandering mind

sobbing inside again, and again, and again.

This is getting frustated.

Lord, Im restless!

Are You still willing to reach for me?

Then please, Im begging...

make my life normal, even when I know there's nothing to be hold on normality.

Make it the way it is.

The way I can finally say,

"My life's complete."

Story Of My Life

2011-02-14T21:41:00.000+07:00

Then sometimes you got to crawl

Before you start to walk

I've been there I had my baby days

Everybody falls, everybody cries

Everybody feels like a nobody sometimes

You get up again, give it one more try

Everybody's got what it takes on the inside

Story of your life

It's the story of my life

So dont be afraid hold on to your faith

I swear to you there will be better days

-quoted lyrics from BSB's Story Of My Life-

The One With The Magic Beans

2010-05-17T09:33:00.005+07:00

I recently rerun FRIENDS again from the very beginning, since my hubby was never regularly watched it before. It turns out that he kinda love it and cant stop laughing especially on almost every Joey’s scene. Gosh, me myself never get bored of that best show ever! Watching it over and over again is always an amusement J

So far we almost finish the 3^rd season. Usually we watch 3-5 episodes a day while we’re having lunch or dinner. That’s one of many great things of being a freelancer, both of us. Who can laugh their ass of at 2 PM watching FRIENDS while eating lunch on a carpet? Oh so you can too? Good for you! :p

It is not only the show is amusing, but also we can learn many things from it. Its like having a moral of every episode. That's the great thing about TV series "bule", unlike what we've got here in Indonesia, the sinetron thing... what did u ever get from it? Lesson learned? I dont think so... Or maybe u do so? Tell me :D

There’s this one episode on season 1, “The One With The Magic Beans”, that always gets me every time. Its about Rachel that just got her first paycheck from being the waitress at the coffee shop, which is so not worth it for her! The Visa people called and asking about an usual activity in his account, the “not using it anymore” since she decided to go with all this independency things. As if that’s not enough bites for a day, her gang from the uptown come visiting to the coffee shop, and they’re all like got engaged, having a baby and just got a promotion! Don’t even believe that being a waitress is something real for a living. Well, being a waitress is not a good trade for an orthodontist she bailed :p

Once in a while, I guess we all have our lowest point like Rachel does here. When everything just going perfectly wrong and its as if we’re taking a wrong decision and having a big regret for it. There’s when we need a friend for most, to remind us about our magic beans!

Silly Phoebe told Rachel, that maybe she’s just in a way of climbing to get her magic beans. Thou Jack giving up a cow and Rachel giving up an orthodontist, that’s not like Jack doesn’t love that cow! :lol: It just that maybe sometimes in life, you gotta have the guts to let go of something big in your life, in order to get a greater one! The magic beans.

And never even once, you let yourself think about “What if that’s not a magic beans, but just beans?”, cause me do believe in Law of Attraction. Also try to look around… your magic bean doesn’t have to be something a money can buy. Surrounded by loving people around you, that’s a magic bean. Just like Rachel, her magic bean was the new friends in her new independent life :)

Just never afraid to chase something that you know it would be worth the price, and I don’t even talk about money here.

Have u found your magic beans?

I’ve got mine J

One Great Happy Wedding, Thats All We Want.

2010-04-29T13:45:00.001+07:00

"A wedding is so expensive! That's just why I'm not gonna get marry until I feel secure and ready about the budgetary. Well, you know, you don't wanna be broke just after one wedding, right?", then the girl winked at me.

Ah dear, those kind of perspective wont get you anywhere. You'll get stuck in your little comfort world, maybe for the rest of your life. And I'm not just talking about the wedding.

To have a perfect wedding might be one of every girl wishes for since they were just a pre-teen. In my case, I always dreamed about how spectacular my wedding's gonna be in green! Well, but sometimes, when you get older, there are billions things you find out more important than just one beautiful day. I didn't get the wedding of my dream, since we didn't save up so much for the receptions, but still I got me the great marriage life :mrgreen:

Unfortunately, most of Indonesian still thinks that the receptions should held as magnificent as possible. Not everyone get the thought that its just not the core of the wedding itself. As in my girl above case, her family want a very big wedding, but they just don't think that's something nice to give their share of the spending. Preparing a daughter's wedding fund is not a very common thing here in Indonesia.

But hey, if you really think that you gotta have that GREAT WEDDING EVER, there's a lot of trick to minimize the spending. Maybe you can start from cutting the budget for Photography and Invitation at your wedding by learning from this article. What? But those two are the most important things to be prepared for a perfect wedding? Guess what, darlene, its not that hard :)

You're about to see that is not that expensive to get a beautiful yet not so expensive pictures of you Wedding Day, and how to make a catchy invitation that will lead the guess properly. Haven't thought about it yet? You better start if you really want to have that Dreamy Day :mrgreen:

After all, we all want it to be once in a lifetime to the happily ever after, rite? :)

CRAZY SALE!!!!

2009-11-13T10:06:00.002+07:00

CLICK ON THE PICTURE :D

Gratitude

2009-11-05T08:36:00.005+07:00

It is not gratitude to stop trying
just because u feel enough

It is not greedy to always want to have more
when you love what u've got anyway
and not complaining

is it that hard to beg a differ?

Not Of This Earth

2009-11-01T11:37:00.000+07:00

Everyone see ANYthing with their own perspective..

Therefore, there's no such thing as absolute truth nor absolute false..

Not in this humanoid world

Where Have I Been?

2009-10-29T11:56:00.002+07:00

Wow! Been a long time since my last update here :D U can read my last writing on my indonesian blog thou. For my english isnt that fluent, it took longer for me to deliver even just one post at a time haha

By that, i guess im just gonna make this english blog of mine as a microblog, as in im just gonna write a few lines at once. Sounds simpler, yep?

To read my real life journal, please do follow my indonesian blog ^_^

Idul Fitri's Parcel

2009-09-05T00:13:00.002+07:00

Looking for a Parcel for Idul Fitri?

Got few for you just right here! Coming with a great discount!!!

Beauty Gift Set Rp 100.000

Original Prices:

Lash Extreme Mascara @ 59.900
Lip Classic Lipstick @ 29.900
Vision V Soul Mate Eye Shadow @ 34.900

2. Beauty Gift set Rp 125.000

Original Prices:

Lash Extreme Mascara @ 59.900
Lip Classic Lipstick @ 29.900
Air Soft Powder @ 59.900

3. Beauty Gift Set Rp 160.000

Original Prices:

Lash Extreme Mascara @ 59.900
Lip Classic Lipstick @ 29.900
After Hour EdT @ 139.900

4. Foot Care Gift Set Rp 100.000

Original Prices:

Foot Care Pumice Brush @ 17.900
Soothing Foot Cream @ 24.900
Reviving Foot Spray @ 44.900
Overnight Mouisturising Foot Cream @ 39.900

For further information and order please do call Nata on 08179437037 ;)

Lily Allen - FUCK YOU (Very Much)

2009-08-31T09:42:00.002+07:00

GOSH! This is such a smart song made by Lily Allen herself! Whatta great girl! I Adore U Dear Lily! If you read the lyrics, you'll know to whom this song originally dedicated to ;)

Look inside,
Look inside your tiny mind
Now look a bit harder
Cause we're so uninspired,
so sick and tired of all the
hatred you harbor

So you say
It's not okay to be gay
Well I think you're just evil
You're just some racist who
can't tie my laces
Your point of view is medieval

Fuck you (Fuck you)
Fuck you very, very much
Cause we hate what you do
And we hate your whole crew
So please don't stay in touch

Fuck you (Fuck You)
Fuck you very, very much
Cause your words don't translate
And it's getting quite late
So please don't stay in touch

Do you get,
Do you get a little kick out of
being slow minded?
You want to be like your father
It's approval your after
Well that's not how you find it

Do you,
Do you really enjoy living a
life that's so hateful?
Cause there's a hole where
your soul should be
Your losing control of it and
it's really distasteful

Fuck you (Fuck You)
Fuck you very, very much
Cause we hate what you do
And we hate your whole crew
So please don't stay in touch

Fuck you (Fuck You)
Fuck you very, very much
Cause your words don't
translate and it's getting
quite late
So please don't stay in touch

Fuck you, Fuck you, Fuck you,
Fuck you, Fuck you, Fuck you,
Fuck yooooou

You say
You think we need to go to war
well you're already in one
Cause it's people like you
who need to get slew
No one wants your opinion

Fuck you (Fuck You)
Fuck you very, very much
Cause we hate what you do
And we hate your whole crew
So please don't stay in touch

Fuck you (Fuck You)
Fuck you very, very much
Cause your words don't
translate and it's getting
quite late
So please don't stay in touch

Fuck you, Fuck you
Fuck you, Fuck you
Fuck you, Fuck you

Waiting and Longing

2009-08-28T10:24:00.003+07:00

He said...

I can understand the joy of the sharing & the feeling of loneliness.
I agree with you that things come for a reason, and founding you I
trust for the GREATER cause than fulfilling our loneliness..

Oh dear...

When will the GREATER cause coming?

Im counting the days....

HERE'S THE REAL EGGS :D

2009-08-19T09:41:00.020+07:00

Sorry for the last failed post :D My bad haha

So here's the EGGS

ENJOY!!!!

Inspirational Story - Hoyt Family

2009-07-31T16:04:00.002+07:00

Taken from here, and i cried watching the video :'(

Rick Hoyt cannot walk.

Instead, he climbs mountains, tears through finish lines at triathlons, speeds through marathons and treks thousands of miles across the country.

Rick Hoyt cannot talk.

Since birth, cerebral palsy has robbed him of the ability to control the majority of his muscles and limbs, including his vocal chords.

Instead, the 46-year-old Boston University graduate co-hosts a motivational speaking tour known for drawing crowds large enough to fill Fenway Park.

As the other half of "Team Hoyt" - arguably the most inspiring father-son long distance running team in sports - Rick Hoyt has dedicated his life to bulldozing stereotypes and challenging every assumed "can't" imposed by his disabilities.

For the last 25 years, his father, Dick Hoyt, has pushed, pulled and carried Rick, a quadriplegic, across more than 900 finish lines. Together the Massachusetts-based team has completed 224 triathlons, including six Ironman competitions; 66 marathons, including 26 Boston Marathons; a 45-day consecutive bike ride across the country; and hundreds of other grueling events.

When Dick runs, he pushes Rick in his wheelchair. When Dick cycles, he pulls Rick in a seat-pod attached to the front of his bicycle. When Dick swims, he hauls Rick behind him in a dinghy. When Dick mountain climbs he carries his son, who weighs about 115 pounds, on his back.

Still, at age 67, Dick continues to race weekly with Rick. In fact, the duo hasn't taken a break longer than two weeks since they joined their first race when Rick was 11 years old.

"I keep training and competing because (Rick) gets so much happiness out of it, and I get happiness just seeing him happy," Dick said.

When the duo isn't earning ribbons, they're sharing their story with audiences around the country.

On Wednesday at 7 p.m., Dick will speak at Trinity United Methodist Church in Gainesville. The presentation, which is free and open to the public, will focus on the "Team Hoyt" motto, "Yes you can."

Videos will showcase the pair plowing through finish lines far ahead of runners who aren't toting an extra hundred pounds.

In hopes of inspiring audience members to push through life's obstacles and changing negative attitudes toward the disabled, Dick will share how his son's unlikely ambition inspired more than two decades of physical achievements.

Rick, who communicates through a special computer built to respond to the subtle movements of his face and head, will also speak to the audience via DVD.

"It's a story about unconditional love and a testament to overcoming appearingly insurmountable obstacles," said Bill Gair, member of Trinity United Methodist Church who has participated in races with the Hoyts. "It's the stuff of legends."

Working All Days

2009-07-28T07:33:00.004+07:00

Working all day, I'm digging up the roads, just working all day
Dig for my pay and spend it where I like. I've nothing to say
Drown in my sweat but money buys escape. I've got no regrets
Working all dayGeez... so its been so long since my last post! :p I've been very busy! nope... not with the family matter, that's done now and we're in peace. It just that now I have this thing called JOB. Yes! I had a job!
-working all day : Gentle Giant-

I dont really want to work in this kind of place and on that kind of work hours. I prefer to work at home. But the only matter is, i havent make that much money from home, compared with what I had from my last job announcing. And the mother has bitching around about me being prideless and jobless, yeah well.. this is what I've gotta deal for now then.

Waking up at 5 for my Subuh prayer, take a bath, dressed up, once in a while had a breakfast before a go go, and... half to 7! Not chasing car as in Snow Patrol's song... I chase my own "ancot"Gedebage. Caught up in a lousy traffic! That's why I took a short cut and pay less for the ancot. But then I have to walk for about two kilos, since the loving office is somewhere out there in one residence in Buah Batu! Arrived at 8ish, facebooking and checking my mail till it reach about half pass nine, and.................. start to work!!! So there my morning!

I usually dont finish the job at 5 since this company is messed up! Thats why they hire me, they said. To get everything fixed! Hell, yeah! :p So I usually go home around 6ish or 7ish... Got home around 8ish... dinner (i know its not a proper time at all), take a bath, sometimes ironing or do the laundry, calling my baby... and... have a rest!

That's keep on going until Saturday. I work half day for Saturday. Funny. 2ish PM is not a half! But yeah... what can I say?

Why do I take this job? The money's good that's the first reason. Its close from my house, thou i still have to do a long walk everyday (i think of it as an exercise). And the owner of the company is my bestfriend's sister. I dont do any of that procedure someone used to before they got the job. I get to work with friends. That's why. And later, the reason's getting better. They're hiring my boyfriend too! He's just a freelancer here, but that's cool! I get to see my BF in the middle of the week, during work hour! I love that idea! :D

The only thing i hate is that i dont have much time for myself anymore. On weekend, i still have to hang out with the others in order to keep in touch and else. Or dating. Damn i dont wanna lose my dating time atleast once in a week!

That's why the idea of working at home still fills my head. Lets think about it this way. Me here, working, and using the internet connection, and marketing my own business. Make it big. And when i think im ready to hang on to that, i'll resign myself from here! Whatta plan! :D

Oups... it almost 8! Must write on my other blogs before i start to do the real working thing that paid haha See you so much later all! :D

HAVE A GREAT DAYS!!!
(since im not gonna write it in more days :p)

And so I Pray

2009-07-18T11:57:00.003+07:00

They said Im crazy. They said im no better than some uneducated and uncivilized people. They said Im a shame. They said so many things.

Yes, I did flipped out and went over my limit. I dont even know why. But dont ever they realize they're just no better than me like at all? This vicious circle has been going on for so long and not just happening now. Im not the one who started it myself, but i know that i stay on it.

They should've try to ask themself, what they did that made things this bad. I know I messed up, but I cant say i regret it. I do sorry for what I did, but please do realize that the bullet itself wont hurt without the trigger.

You all can blame me, you all can say anything, just please do. But Im not the only one who filled with hatred and vengeance. We all do deep down bear the grudge inside. Nobody wud fix it, nobody can change it.

So now Im just gonna stay... I'll walk this long and winding road for just a little more while. I'll leave, you know. I know I cant stand so long before I might finally blow myhead. I'll leave. You can tell that I am preparing my departure...

Still the wound's there... hurt so deep.. hardly patched...
How do you think it is to feel alienated and unwanted and hated in one place that you should be called HOME, by people you supposed to call FAMILY?

Oh dear JEM... how could you easily sing my heart out?

Storm is brewing in the
air tonight
So many pressures on my mind
Want to escape just
wanna run away
But it's not an option
I have to stay

And so I pray
I wish that all these things
would go away
To disappear if only for a day
Know I can't go but I don't
wanna stay

Can't believe the irony
The thing I wanted is killing me
All the happy smiles I miss
Didn't think it would be like this

And so I pray
I wish that all these things
would go away
To disappear if only for a day
Know I can't go but I don't
wanna stay

Storm is brewing in the
air tonight
So many pressures on my mind
Want to escape just
wanna run away
But it's not an option
I have to stay

And so I pray
I wish that all these things
would go away
To disappear if only for a day
Know I can't go but
I don't wanna stay
To be left alone if only
for a day
I wish that all these things
would go away
(pray to YOU I hope it will
be alright)
To be someone else
if only for a day
(and over soon, I feel it)
Know I can't go but I don't
wanna stay
(hope that YOU hear me)

Wedding's VOW (taken from grey's anatomy)

2009-07-14T08:34:00.006+07:00

Geez... I merely have a very lil time for online now! Hm.. getting busy with my new exciting business that seems going really well for me ;) U should join me here! :D Like one of our fella Ariyanti dear ;) And I also working on my newest blog about how fun this business im in ;)

So now Im just gonna share you one of my favorite wedding's vow taken from Grey's Anatomy The Series, by Dr Preston Burke, the stupid one who walked away from the series and ruin the whole beautiful romantic story!!!

Why wedding vow? Dunno... maybe Im just expecting someone to say it to my eyes... under the twinkling stars... and kiss... PDA? That's alrite with me hahaha

This is what he said above

“Christina, I could promise to hold you and to cherish you. I could promise to be there in sickness and in health. I could say ’till death do us part. But I won’t. Those vows are for optimistic couples. The ones full of hope. And I do not stand here, on my wedding day, optimistic or full of hope. I am not optimistic, I am not hopeful. I am sure, I am steady, and I know. I am a heart man: I take them apart, I put them back together. I hold them in my hands. I am a heart man. So this, I am sure. You are my partner, my lover, my very best friend. My heart, my heart, beats for you. And on this day, the day of my wedding, I promise you this: I promise you to lay my heart in the palm of your hand. I promise you ME.”

Dear boyfriend... please do propose me...

Sweet Reminder

2009-07-10T00:43:00.002+07:00

"Some people can give THOUSANDS of reasons why they CANNOT succeed at something, when all they need is ONE reason why they CAN succeed"

-Anonimous-

I am Gonna Be Prosper, and So Will You (With This Online Business :D )

2009-07-08T08:53:00.003+07:00

Unfortunately Im gonna have to post this one in Indonesia since this is a copy from my Indonesian Blog. I dont really have much time this morning, gotta go, but still I want to post this one for all of u ;)

So here it is ;)

Sudah menunaikan tugas sebagai warga negara yang baik dan benar? :p Saya dan calon suami kali ini ikutan lhooo Kalau sudah pilih Presiden… daripada nunggu ekonomi berubah karena beliau beliau itu, gimana kalau usaha sendiri bareng diriku yuk!!!

Ini adalah satu hal yang sedang mengisi hari-hari saya belakangan ini! Kembali berbisnis dalam jaringan dan tentunya berusaha membentuk jaringan baru

Kalau dibilang baru tahu, sebetulnya saya tahu Oriflame itu sudah sejak dahulu kala! Waktu masih SMA saya membantu mama saya yang waktu itu sudah jadi member Oriflame buat jualan di sekolah. Anak SMA kan lagi puber-pubernya dan tentunya tergilagila sama segala jenis kosmetik, maka jualan saya laris manis! Dah kaya jualan kacang ajah heheheu Dari situ dapat untung karena selisih harga di Katalog dengan harga member itu cukup gede! Ga ngerti? Nanti…

Nah ternyata, daripada cuma sekedar ikutan Oriflame dan dapat untung yang gede dari jualan, mending sekalian ajah cari untung yang lebih gede lagi! Manusiawi skali ya? Ga pernah puas Begitu baca ini, saya jadi super tertarik karena kayanya memang masuk akal sekali bisnis yang dijalani dan bukan tipuan dan segala macam kaya bisnis yang katanya milyaran tapi ga terlalu puguh juga (atau mungkin saya yang belum berusaha memahami)

Di sini, prinsip utamanya adalah membangun jaringan, karena semakin gede jaringan ya semakin gede juga bonus yang bisa didapat! Semua orang udah anti MLM? Oh puhlease… TANYA KENAPA? Itu kan biasanya yang ga jelas apa yang sedang dirintisnya… dan ga jelas produknya… kalau ini kan super jelas!

Lagipula… kalau dibilang semua orang udah ikut Oriflame dan nanti siapa yang akan jadi downline kita… Hey… Setiap tahun akan ada anak yang baru lulus kuliah dan malas bekerja di kantoran dan ingin usaha sendiri ataupun menjadi pebisnis saja (kaya yang punya blog ini :p), dan buka mata deh… krisis ekonomi global benar benar bikin banyak orang ga punya kerjaan dan ga punya pegangan! Yang begitu tuh harusnya ikut bareng kita!

Bukan musti jualan skali lagi tujuan utamanya… tapi membentuk jaringan. Skalipun skali lagi juga… kalo jualan itu untungnya gede banget lho!!! Saya baru dua minggu ikutan udah dapet skitar 90ribuan Belum nanti ditambah bonus yang bakal di dapat! Ah! Exciting!

Lagipula, lebihnya adalah karena jaringan kita ini jaringan yang geraknya online. Hari gini siapa yang ga setiap hari buka internet coba? Nah… daripada tiap hari bukanya cuma Facebook lagi Facebook lagi, mendingan juga skalian mengkaryakan diri. Facebook juga bisa dikaryakan! Teman ada banyak, prospek satu satu

Ga ada yang instan.. jelas musti usaha! Tapi jangan salah… yang ini sih ga perlu usaha terlalu banyak! Ga pake keringetan pula hahahaha

Pengen tahu gimana caranya ikutan bisnis jaringan Online yang bebas penipuan dan terpercaya dan bisa banget menghasilkan keuntungan yang berlipat ganda? Ikutan dong ah!

Im Gonna Be Prosper! And So Will U (If U Join Me )

There's Gold in Them Hills (SO DONT LOSE FAITH)

2009-07-03T13:32:00.006+07:00

So lately me and my lil man been thru so many hard things. Most of the going ons really not for our sake. Deceived, being used, hurt, lied, etc. Seems like we've been pushed to our very limit! But you know... trouble is a friend... it comes and goes... You dont lose yourself to every lil thing coming your way, rite? We dont ;)

So when I heard this song for the very first time, I felt like he was singing to me! He, since I didnt notice the voice of Ron Sexsmith thou there's a difference between his and Chris Martin's. This song was just so awesome and motivating and up liftinG! For me, yes :D

So tonight, let me share this BEAUTIFUL song to u... so u'd reminded... to not lose your faith, on anything ;)

CHEERS DEARS!!!

I know it doesn't seem that way
But maybe it's the perfect day
Even though the bills are piling
And maybe Lady Luck ain't smiling

But if we'd only open our eyes
We'd see the blessings in disguise
That all the rain clouds are fountains
Though our troubles seem like mountains

There's gold in them hills
There's gold in them hills
So don't lose heart
Give the day a chance to start

Every now and then life says
Where do you think you're going so fast
We're apt to think it cruel but sometimes
It's a case of cruel to be kind

And if we'd get up off our knees
Why then we'd see the forest for the trees
And we'd see the new sun rising
Over the hills on the horizon

There's gold in them hills
There's gold in them hills
So don't lose faith
Give the world a chance to say...

A word or two, my friend
There's no telling how the day might end
And we'll never know until we see
That there's gold in them hills

There's gold in them hills
So don't lose heart
Give the day a chance to start

There's gold in them hills...
There's gold in them hills...

Spreading The Awesome-ness of Mine :D

2009-07-03T12:46:00.004+07:00

I did this on my Indonesian Blog since I got tagged by one of my blogger fellas. So basically this is just a translation version. Hahaha. Guess its cool since I dont have anything in mind to share just now. And as the title of my Indonesian blog, If Its Not So Important To U, Well It Is For Me :D So here it goes!

7 awesome things about me

1. Dependable

People used to come to me when they need to share and pour out their mind, and sometimes asking for a little advise. I cannot give anything materially, but when it is about feels and thought, you can count on me ;) Well... the term dependable maybe refer to my competency and responsible. This quality makes me a good friend, and of course great lover.

2. Hell of a public speaker

I never have a problem communicating. Always as smooth as it can be. I used to think that this talkative things is something useless I've born with :p But it turns to be that this is a gift! I could share, talk, get along with anybody even when I just knew them without feeling awkward. And I can speak good in front of public, which I use to make money of it. Dont believe me? How about hiring me? haha

3. Under the influence of love

Some people see thing as tacky or cheesy or anything whatsoever, since everything I write, watch, read, hear, enjoy, do and say is all about love! Like I care? Nope I dont. I really do see this as a very awesome quality I have, that even above all the disappointment and failure in love (ouch) that I've been through or people around me did, I never stop to praise the L.O.V.E. I guess my Rabb entrust me this as my greatest gift. Of course, Lord. I LOVE U MOST!

4. My loud-y voice

In connection with my best ability as a "speaker", the power and the volume of my voice is one of the coolest things I have! haha. If anybody needs sumkind of soundsystem just to make people heard them clearly, well I dont need those things :D They said im born with it, and swallowed a TOA once :p This unbelieveably loud voice makes me hard to whispering. But that might be the reason Im not a big fan of talking behind someone's back, since they always gonna hear me out :p

5. My sexy lips

I swear to u this is one of my body part that Im really proud of (this is a body part, rite?) Besides all the "lipoids" part, this one is really cool. You might want to say, SEXY :D The other part of my face I love is my lovely eyes (okay, this is subjective opinion :D) And this fatlips is really a GOOOOOOD kissing material ouch ouch ouch

6. My sweet ignorance

Since when an ignorance becoma a good things or even an awesome thing of someone? I dont know for sure... but for me, my ignorance sometimes help me to be a simple person. Dont give a damn about other's business that doesnt contains and or even expecting me. Dont give a shit about a people that doesnt even deserve to be care about. However, this is not about all things. I care alot about many things too. But there's so much stuff thats no need the fuss, mine especially. Im good at it, ignoring.

7. I am a shrink to be

This is the thing I love most from me, and Im sure proud of myself, for I will be a psychologist one day. Its a must! Insya Allah... AMIEN. And even without being certified, the knowledge I've got so far that makes me "only" a future psychologist really useful in every aspect of my life. Sharpening my self knowing. Open up wide my mind about many things. Got that things called "understanding" that not everyone has it. That's pretty awesome for me ;)

How bout you? What's the 7 things awesome about you? When i tagged to this, it said that I have to tag another! Hm... what about you, you, another you, and you also, then you, and of course you, and again you, and more you you you! Haha Done it even before me? Lemme know ;)

Big Green Penis ???

2009-07-02T11:56:00.002+07:00

Does anyone think that's a Green penis?

Noooooooooooo!

U wish :p

This is Pisang Ijo...
Green's Banana hahaha
A yummy snack i dont know where it originally from, but there is one near my house :D
Its cheap... 3500 for a delicious thing like this
My favorite fla is Vanilla Rhum!
GOD how I Love everything in Vanilla and Rhum!

So Much For Fun and Struggling

2009-06-30T05:55:00.005+07:00

HELLO WORLD!!!!

Good to be back! Ha! Been a great weekend for me, and my mother finally remember that she still has the duty of being mum and got back to Bandung last nite. Means, she brought her Telkomsel Flash with her again and I can use it to post! huhuhuhu

So how was your weekend? I know its a bit late since it is Tuesday. But well, I just got the internet connection back today! So I'll tell u mine just now.

It was great and awful! How come? Great and awful is not like a gang or something? Yeah... great for me, but not so for my BFF and my lil man.

At friday I went out for the closing gathering of my psychological bureau. The only thing that's been the best part is that we swam!! GOD i miss swimming. So I plunge myself into this chillin pool with my complete clothes and veil! Hahaha it was stupid but it was worthed :D I was so cheered. But the feeling changed after I get back to my lil man house to took a bath there (since it closer to the outbond field) and took a lil nap before we pick up my BFF from Jakarta at the bus station. The so called owner of the company he's been working with for about 3 months and unpaid properly came to his house just to say implicitly that he's no longer needed there. SCREW HIM! They dont even give anything that my lil man deserve and now they dumped him? My lil man was so mad and filled with anger tears, but I guess by now he calmed and to be honest I guess it is a relieve. U know what, the so called Un-clustered Webzine... you'll go down for your stubborn head.

She came here on Friday night. For about 40 minutes she didnt say a single word to me, but intensely speaking to someone over the phone. I wonder if it was his boyfriend (or ex), but later I know it was her boyfriend (or ex) co-worker. They gossiped about the one girl that's been bitching her and her man.

What's so fuss about this girl? Nothing, or nothing known yet. It just that the stupid jerk dumped my BFF! YES! DUMPED! Is he nuts or what? While she struggling for the relationship to stand, he walked out of her! Surprisingly! Damn I hate that stupid creature! But as in my lil man case, I guess this is such a relieved for her. She wont let go of that jerk, and now she has to. For her own damn good. But she still dont believe it and asking about how could this happen to her and how could and how could.

I wish she gets better soon and realizing how precious she really is just to be waste on a stupid guy like his ex.

I did my parenting public speaking individually on Saturday at NASYWA Elementary School in Cihanjuang. It was great! I did it well and the parents, I guess the like me and even came to me after my speech and asking one and two things about their childs. I love the feeling :D Hey you, wants to hire me? Im an eligible public speaker, that I can say ;)

On Sunday... er... what was exactly I did... Oh... I went out with my BFF on her last day here. Shopping, bout a dozen DVDs for my DVD day with my lil man, go to Food Fiesta on IBCC, and then I walked her to Leuwi Panjang. She cried. All the way. All damn day. But if it what it takes to her to feel better eventually, guess it's good then :)

Monday? Working day? YES! Even for me the unemployee one :P I washed, I ironed, I sweeped, I mopped! Been a great clean day :D

And for today, I'll be on the briefing for the psychological test tomorrow (im the tester not the testee), and then I'll be going to PVJ for Transformer 2 (meet me there? :D), and spend the rest of my day later writing! I owe much to my other blog and for the writing competition. WISH ME LUCK!

And Im not on for blogwalking today, but I'll be right back at you ASAP, key ;)

Have a blessed day!

Welcoming Weekend!

2009-06-26T07:42:00.001+07:00

Hey! This is my very first time do a mobile posting! FYI my cell isnt the very cool one, it is quite good thou.
So the thing is im not gonna be able to online for the whole weekend!
No posting no blog's visiting..
Basically it just nothing to do with the internet!
Im going for an outbond today! Then my BFF's coming to Bandung (she's finally broke up with that jerk btw) and we're gonna have sumfun to amuse her!
Tomorrow is going to be my first time as a parenting's speaker! Its so exciting! The fee's not good enuff, but hey this is my very 1st time anyway! Anyone wants to hire me next? :-D
And sunday wud be my dating day!
Aaah its gonna be a GREAT weekend!
So to sum up..

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND GUYS!

PERSONAL EFFECTS

2009-06-24T09:22:00.003+07:00

I always love Ashton's movie. I love his cute face, I love his acting. I love his :) When I knew that he finally goes out again on his newest movie called Personal Effect, I was very excited! Can't wait to see it for sure!

Then there it was... bought the DVD and started wondering, why is there Michelle Pfeiffer there? I dont know, it just that I'm not a big fan of her, and it just not that fit picture of Pfeiffer and Ashton together!

But the story was sweet. Tells about two people who lost the person they loved so much in a murder. The woman lost his husband, and Andrew (Ashton) lost his only sister. They met in a counseling group of family's murdered victim. Trying to share about their pain and their lost, their dissapointment of the law that doesn't seem to be fair to them.

Andrew was a wrestler who left what his doing to be there for his sister jurisdiction. While Linda is a single mother with a deaf teenager son that has a problem with his emotion since his father's dead. They both hurt, they both broken, and they found each other in their term of mourn.

How they heal each other's heart and what's been hanging around in their own sad head was pictured deep. You can feel the hurt with you. The hope, the coincidence to find love in time of pain, you definitely gonna love it!

Overall, this was a good movie, and end up happily, so you won't be too depressed :)

Stupid Stupid Stupid

2009-06-23T01:29:00.002+07:00

There's a little thing that's been bugging me lately. Stupid, silly, unimportant matters at all! Yet Im annoyed. Sigh.

It just a little feeling that tickles me, that I've been writing about my lil man too much. Not like when I tell about a day we just had or something like that. A writing as in things like these. I might not yet in this blog, just a little here. But you might wanna see my Indonesian blog. Pfhew... Its all about him! I love writing about him, and he's like my inspiration or something.

But I hate to think that its only me that's been affected by him, while he doesnt even feel the same way. He used to draw a great picture and write a lot about his exes. But for me, he never done that. Not even once. Even to think about it and writing it disturb me! GOD! Yes, I know maybe this is a stupid jealousy. I just cant handle it.

Im stopping myself from writing about him, but I always find a great things to put down. The more it is the more I hate to remember about stupid fact above. This is not about counting or comparing. This is not even the kind of math I like! It just that Im feeling like I adore him too much. He doesnt. And I hate that. I dont even know how or what or when or even why I feel this way... but geez.. GOSH! I HATE IT!

RUSLAN (Driven To Kill)

2009-06-23T00:43:00.006+07:00

So he's in love with Steven Seagal. Gosh... can u believe that? Steven Seagal! I cant believe someone's actually admire him that much! And i cant believe it that MY BOYFRIEND, who intimidated by all the man that I thought they're gorgeous, deeply in love with this UNDERSeagal :p

And its not somekind of temporary feeling he had for him, he seriously declare himself as his fan! He's been in love with that guy since he first saw his movie, when he's all skinner and sexier than he is now (quoting him), and it last till now!

Its not that Im jealous of Steven Seagal of what! Hahahaha that would've been stupid. It just that I cant see what he sees in him! And I hate action movie for heaven's sake! I NEVER, yes, NEVER watch his movie and enjoy it. Nope. Not even once.

But my lovely partner love him. And he's been constantly saying that we're so gonna watch RUSLAN when its on Blitzmegaplex. Thankfully all the cinema in Bandung are retarded :p I dont thank for this often, but so grateful that I found the good quality pirated DVD on Vertex so I bought it for him. Cant you tell how much I love him? And Im offering myself to watch it together with him. So the "I'll do anything for you" finally find it ways :p

So there it was. RUSLAN the movie. Ridiculous name. Ruslan is such a very common name here in Indonesia. Ahmad Ruslan. Ruslan Mahmud. I cant stop thinking about what it is best :p But he's Russian. And as most of his other movies, it tells about revenge and killing and surely bloody!

Nothing at all special from this movie. My lil man finally admit it... But I guess that's not stopping him from loving him (unbelievable sentence!) and he still wants to go for his next movie. Said that he could produce two to four movies a year. Whatta...

Again... I love my lil man. And if watching Steven Seagal's amuse him so much, then I'll do it.

Erh... just not more than once a year would you babe? :D

Chairlift - Bruises

2009-06-20T10:36:00.007+07:00

I tried to do handstands for you
I tried to do headstands for you
Everytime I fell on you, yeah, everytime I fell
I tried to do handstands for you
But everytime I fell for you
I'm permanently black and blue, permanently blue for you.

I tried to do handstands for you
I tried to do handstands for you
Everytime I fell on you, yeah, everytime I fell
I tried to do handstands for you but everytime I fell for you
I'm permanently black and blue, permanently blue for you-ooh-ooh-ooh

For you-ooh-ooh-ooh
So black and blue-ooh-ooh-ooh
For you-ooh-ooh-ooh.

I grabbed some frozen strawberries so I could ice your bruising knees
But frozen things they all unfreeze and now I taste like....
All those frozen strawberries I used to chill your bruising knees,
Hot July ain't good to me
I'm pink and black and blue for you.

I got bruises on my knees for you
And grass stains on my knees for you
Got holes in my new jeans for you
Got pink and black and blue

Got bruises on my knees for you
And grass stains on my knees for you
Got holes in my new jeans for you
Got pink and black and blue for you-ooh-ooh-ooh

For you-ooh-ooh-ooh
So black and blue-ooh-ooh-ooh
For you-ooh-ooh-ooh

Do-doo-do-do-do-do-doo
Do-doo-do-do-do-do-doo
Do-doo-do-do-do-do-doo
Do-doo-do-do-do-do-doo
Do-doo-do-do-do-do-doo
Do-doo-do-do-do-do-doo
Do-doo-do-do-do-do-doo

GOSH! Whatta cool song! ever bruised yourself for someone that bad? :p

YOU & I by Leonard Nimoy

2009-06-20T09:40:00.003+07:00

Do you happen to know Mr. Leonard Nimoy? Yes! The Spock! The intensity, conviction and humanitarianism that have made Leonard Nimoy a distinguished actor have been transferred into a moving and arresting story told in poetry and photographs.

One of his poetry book that I love so much is YOU AND I. It is a fine and sensitive love story that builds with enormous power! Reading this, you will love that "in love" feeling more!

Published by AVON BOOKS, a division of The Hearst Corporation in 1973, YOU AND I has been the international bestseller since then.

YOU AND I is a very simple and short love story that told sweetly. The phases of love that everyone will eventually experience. YOU AND I perfectly captured the journey of one love in six chapter. First is In The Beginning. This is what everyone feels about them self, the self-knowing things. Second, In Search. When you try to find someone that will complete you when that one finally come to your life. Third, In Discovery. The one is there, close to you, and you must be ready, yes, ready to love and receive love. Fourth, Credo. Lover's credo. Do you even have one? Fifth, All Men Are Mortal. Even the perfect couple has their own weak moments. And sixth, To Be. At the very end, it is about love. The perfect love.

This poetry book is my first English's poetry book that I own. My mother gave it to me when I was eighteen, and since then I've been in love with love it self! And the language it used is a simple one. I dont even have to look up to my dictionary to understand it easily! :D Psssstt... I even quoted a part of the poets in my love letter for my lovely lil man ;)

"Will it always be easy? Will it be forever?

I wish I could answer yes...

I can only say

Lets begin

to try

to do

to build

to breathe

to live

with patience

with care

with an open mind"

YOU AND I is a great lines for your loved one!

Show Off

2009-06-19T00:36:00.005+07:00

Yes, I know this is so lame...

Whatever!

Im just excited :D

My Indonesian Blog reviewed on CHIC Magazine :D Nothing special.. yet the first day the edition published, the hits on my page increased surprisingly. Ha! Freely promoted :D

GRAB A SPOON (QUOTING FRIENDS)

2009-06-17T23:19:00.006+07:00

My BFF is dealing with such a big confussion right now. Yeah well... she's my kind. The one living under the Need for Affection. We need love! Big love! The thing is her boyfriend doesnt live there with her in Jakarta. He's in Kalimantan since a year ago for working in the newest branch of ESIA there.

For some people, long distance relationship maybe an easy thing. But that's only when there's trust between the two of the couple. And big effort to keep the communication rite. Guess the key of every healthy relationship is communication.

And they dont have it! The stupid boyfriend of her cheated on her just on his early month there. Well he is a Kalimantan's. He lived the until highschool before he went to Jakarta for college. So basically he has a live there. He has memories. He has a highschool sweetheart, and the worse thing is that she (his ex) works in the same company with him now. He's getting back with her. Atleast that what my BFF's accused him. And he didnt deny it!

They've been thru a hard time before they finally made up again. But as in every relationship tainted with an affair, the trust is just not there anymore. The fight everyday! By phone... on FB's wall... He doesnt try to fix anything and still being the same jerk as he used to be! She cries almost everyday... and I hate to see that you know. Feels like slapping him on his face and cut him in pieces and throw the pieces all over the Atlantic! That's what he deserve for letting my BFF's down.

But she doesnt want to end it up. She's hang in there. She said she wants to keep that faith. Geez... dont know what's clogging her mind! I even told her to watch He's just Not That Into You so that maybe she could gain some perspective. No use. The depressing thing is that she told me, she'd rather be alone than be with anyone else after him. Who knows that maybe he is the one for her and if its end, she will never find anyone else? What if he is her only chance?

Ah dear... how stupid....

Yet you cant tell that to a dear dear friend frontally, not when she's that sad... I've tried it all. Being a good friend... even a bad one... tried to keep her away from falling... I dont know. Maybe in the end she must see it herself. And whatever that might be, Im just gonna be there by her side.

This is kind of remind me of one episode of FRIENDS, after Ross's divorcing Carol and thought that he might not gonna have anybody anymore.

Ross: You know what the scariest part is? What if there's only one woman for everybody, you know? I mean, what if you get one woman, and that's it? Unfortunately, in my case, it was only one woman for her.

Joey: What are you talking about? One woman? That's like saying there's only one flavor of ice cream for you. Let me tell you something, Ross. There's lots of flavors out there. There's Rocky Road, and Cookie Dough, and Bing. Cherry Vanilla. You could get them with jimmies, or nuts, or whipped cream. This is the best thing that ever happened to you. You got married, you were, what, eight? Welcome back to the world. Grab a spoon.

Joey's unbelievable! I love him! :D But yes... Grab a spoon! There's a lot of other flavors out there, for what its worth, the better! Throw that poisoned one you keep on chewing in your mouth even when its killing you, and grab another! Find your favorite Rum Raisins one :D

Quoting He's Just Not That Into You

2009-06-16T08:25:00.004+07:00

"So all I'm saying, that if a guy doesn't call me, I would like picks up. But if he looks down and see my numbers, he's gonna think I'm somekie to reserve the right to cal him at 15 minutes intervals until hnd of psycho or something. Which Im not. Obviously."

-Amber, He's Just Not That Into You-

Yeah well dear Amber, you are obviously something. :)

Have you watch the movie? He's Just Not That Into You was one of my favorite drama i watched recently. A very great one! And the stars are the goodie. Drew Barrymore and Jennifer Aniston are my favorite drama lady ever! Thou they're not the main characters here.

Ah.. Im gonna tell you the things I got from the movie on my Indonesian's blog later. Its gonna be a long one, and Im afraid Im not eager to write that down in English. It just something, that one of my reader ask me why my English blog is so meaningless by all mean. Ironic. Meaningless, yet by all mean :p I dont know. Maybe the deal is that my English is not so good so it sounds like shallow for the reader? Ah well, its mine anyway. Shallow or not, whatsoever...

Damn! Focus Natazya! Haha back to the quoted lines above. Told by a girl name Amber. But that Amber could be me! Or you. Or maybe male and not female. It just that the obsession to call someone intervally, sounds like something everyone could do. I did once. Erh... twice... Erh... yeah well, everytime I dont get the call back :p

Can you mention one time when you desperately like or maybe had crush on someone, went for one date, he or she promised to stay in touch, but then none happened? Or... when you're in a relationship, and your partner seems like droven away and dont do the simple habits such as texting you, or calling for a raincheck. Or maybe.. after a big fight and you dont wannabe the first to call cause that's gonna mean you're the one whose sorry, while you keep telling yourself its not your fault is his! (okay...this is what they call "curcol" :p)

You wait and wait and wait, when the pride is too much just to call first... you do that. Silly obsession. Call and call and call, with hiding the caller id. Thanks to the technology we are able to do that now. Or the good thing is, it's not so common to have a house phone showing the caller id. What a blessing :D And in the middle of the night you called, as somekind of a revenge! Or maybe... just to hear her or his voice.

Madness! Unstopable madness that only fools in love gonna do :p

Done something like that? Ah.. no need to be ashamed to confess. You might to stop though. The only way to let people know that you're waiting for they call is simply by asking, right? And if that concern you calling first, yeah well, swallow that last bite of useless pride and just call. Nobody's gonna die from calling someone first.

Ya ya ya. I'll call. Um... hide the caller id first... thank you XL... thank you my W660 :p

Just Stand Up

2009-06-12T12:07:00.006+07:00

I've done this thing on Facebook, but then I read Kimi's blog and found it here! It's not exactly the same like I was done in Facebook once, but this will always be FUN! :D

The tagging thing... you know it... Here's the rules

1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. Tag 20 friends (make me #21 so I can see your results).
5. Everyone tagged has to do the same thing.
6. Have Fun

SOMEONE SAYS ‘ARE YOU OKAY’ YOU SAY?
Dancing Queen - OST MAMMAMIA

You are the dancing queen, young and sweet, only seventeen

Way to go to lift up someone's mood and making them know im alrite :D

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
Honey Honey Honey - Still from OST MAMMAMIA :D

Hohoho I am such a dear! Ask my boyfriend if you dont believe me!

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
New Slang - The Shins

Erh... For being different maybe? Coz my lil man is ;)

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
I'll Cover You - OST RENT

False! Hahaha

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
SUPERWOMAN - Alicia Keys

Struggling to be one indeed ;)

WHAT’S YOUR MOTTO?
Be Still My Heart - Postal Service

Since I have a great issue with emotions?

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
People are People - D'SOUND

Yeah they are. I love this song so much btw

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Breathe in Breathe Out - OST Grey's Anatomy

Hahahaha Maybe I do sometimes make them desperately breathless just simply by being me :D

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
You and I - Graham Coxon

Hay! How would you know? I DO THINK ABOUT YOU AND I EVERY-DAMN-DAY :D

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Sideways - Citizen Cope

Anyside them on, Im loving them

WHAT IS 2+2?
Transatlantic Flight - Lorraine

Stupid hahaha

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
LDN - Lily Allen

Sun is in the sky oh why oh why ?
Would I wanna be anywhere else

I wanna be with her :(

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Love The One You're With - Stephen Stills

And thankfully the one im with is the one i love ;)

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Bluebeard - Cocteau Twins

I dont even dream of growing anykind of beard!

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO HAVE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
No Day But Today - OST RENT

I can't control
My destiny
I trust my soul
My only hope
is just to be

Then it means "We'll just see" :D

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
My Same - Adele

DAMN! So far this is my favorite one! :D

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Inside You - Infant Sorrow

Ahahahah just cant hardly wait for my groomie to be inside me

WHAT SONG WILL PLAYED AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Where Does The Good Go - Tegan and Sara

I am good and I am gone... No wonder everybody's asking :D

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Jay Ho - Pussycat Dolls

Yeah! Whatever it means!

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
Everyone's At It - Lily Allen

The anti-social me speaking

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Million Faces - Paulo Nutini

You have no idea ;)

WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
Mouthwash - Kate Nash

For my swallowing gum? :( It hurts

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Just Stand Up - Various Artist

If the mind
Keeps thinking
You've had enough
But the heart
Keeps telling you
Don't give up
Who are we to be
Questioning
Wondering what is what
Don't give up
Through it all
Just stand up

I LOVE IT Hahahaha

I don't tag anybody

So if you please, tag yourself would you?

And let me know later! :D

SPREAD THE FUN!

My Love, My Same...

2009-06-10T13:13:00.007+07:00

Do you know Adele?

Adele Laurie Blue Adkins, born 5 May 1988 in Enfield, North London (DAMN she's young!) is one of my favorite British Singer. I love this kind of subpop's music since my last Music Director Eka Nugraha introduce me to whole kind of new sound to me, the extreme mainstream's once :p

You see, the thing is, her song was accidentally always match my relationship and I guess it named itself the soundtrack of my lovelines :D

Well, her first and maybe the most famous single is Chasing Pavement. I knew this song right about the time me and my partner just knew each other for the first time. When its full of hesitation and doubt, and not sure to get thru with "us" back then. I dont know him yet.. Just been thru a hell hole of a broken heart... and to be honest... not quite sure about him physically ;) So this questioning-songs was on my playlist over and over :D

Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere?

It turns out to be somewhere. Here :)

And now! Damn you Adele! Haunting us like somekind of a stalky-singer *was that word even exist? :p* In this beautiful moment of us, the assuring feeling within, with all the doubt and strange passed... Guess my partner is MySame. That little man, that no one would think that he's a match for me, but he is ;)

My friend Senny told me bout this song once. She said that she remembered us listening to this song, in a good way of course *quoting her*

So I googled the lyrics, I downloaded the song, and WE LOVE IT ;)

Hope you're gonna love it too...

You said I'm stubborn
And I never give in
I think you're stubborn
'Cept you're always softening
You say I'm selfish
I agree with you on that
I think you're giving out
In way too much in fact
I say we've only known
Each other one year

You say I've known
You longer my dear
You like to be so close
I like to be alone
I like to sit on chairs
And you prefer the floor
Walking with each other
Think we'll never
Match at all
But we do (4x)

I thought I knew myself
Somehow you know me more

Yeah you do ;)
I've never known this
Never before
You're the first
To make out
Whenever we are two

Again you are!
I don't know who I'd be
If I didn't know you

Single? :p
You're so provocative
I'm so conservative
You're so adventurous
I'm so very cautious
Combining
You think
We would and we do
But we do (3x)

YEAH WE DO! :D

Favouritism
Ain't my thing
But in this situation

I'll be glad

Favouritism
Ain't my thing
But in this situation
I'll be glad
To make an exception

(Repeat 1 & 2 verses)

I am The Master Of My Fate, I am The Captain of My Soul

2009-06-09T21:03:00.006+07:00

Thank you for all that you've been done for me. Thank you for all the burden you carried for me. Thank you for being there for me. Thank you for denying me. Thank you for abandoning me when I want to reach my own life. Thank you for cursing me. Thank you for not letting me be myself. Thank you for breaking me. Thank you for not giving me a chance to say anything i have in mind. Thank you for crashing my believe, and even my self image.

Thank you for EVERYTHING.

But now I am ready. I am ready to be me. I am ready to stand on my own. I am ready to sailing my own wide ocean. I am ready to leave. I am loving you still, from a distance, so your words would never hurt me more. I am your daughter, and forever you're my mother. I am ready, to be you... only a much better you.

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,

I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud,

Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade,

And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,

I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul.

-Invictus - William Ernest Henley-

Personalized Kid's Backpacks

2009-06-07T10:17:00.002+07:00

My little brother loves to sleepover at his buddies for twice a month on weekend. And sometimes my parents and other peer's parents take them for a little trip in Lembang or somewhere else out of town. Your child does too? Wow... there you go! Maybe this one will be a nice gift for your children as well, as it is for my little bro.

I found this cute personalized kid's backpacks from Posy Lane. I love the green one with a pink stripped here :D It comes with Mint's signature fabrics and has a colorful border designs! Ouch... this is so cute! I wish I had it when a was a girl :( And it just that I love green so much!

Or maybe this one I could use! Mint also has collection of laundry bags! This is my favorite one. Mint laundry bag lime with hot pink! Geez this is so cute! And has the shoulder strap with it, so say goodbye to lugging around a full laundry bag by the drawstrings ;)

All of the bags is affordable for me, and I guess it is for you too. But when I thought I would be stop craving for shopping there, I found this VERY CUTE baby memory books! This Penny Laine Baby Keepsake Book is loose leaf, and between 50 and 60 decorative and titled pages. You can also add your own! It's a binder remember? You dont have to give this sweet gift to anyone. Gift it to yourself, and me, to my daughter to be :D

Ouch... I hate this. I want to have a baby :(

Feels Like Making Love

2009-06-07T01:58:00.007+07:00

Of all the making-love-soundtracks i ever know, this one is my favorite! Originally performed by Infant Sorrow, inside you was one of OST from Forgetting Sarah Marshall. The movie's also one of the very amusing movie! I thought it was a teen's movie. Turned out it was none at all teeny :D

Back to the song. This song got a very sweet lyrics and the vocalist's voice is having a weird degree of sexy :D! He's also kind of nuts :D But that's the thing rite? A very sweet song coming from a very silly band. I love it! So grateful if this is exactly what a man would feel when he's "inside" me! Gosh... thinking about it arouse me! DAMN :p

Old as Ancient Skies
I've had these wondering eyes
But you took me by surprise when you let me inside of you

Inside of you
Inside of you
There's got to be
Some part of me
Inside of you

Inside of you, I could cross this desert plane
Inside of you, I can hear you scream my name
Inside of you, while the stars unfold
I've crossed me heart and I've crossed the world
And I need you here and I need to be
Inside of you

Now the flowers bloom
I feel you creep into my room
And if this should be our tune
I'll die here inside of you

And the world explodes
I've never been down this road
Teach me how to glow
While I'm moving
Inside of you

Inside of you, the restless find their dreams
Inside of you, this king has found his queen
Inside of you, all the stars unfold
I've crossed me heart and I've crossed the world
And I need you here and I need to be
Inside of you

Inside of you
Bay blue
So say it's you
To thoughts untrue
Who I woo
It's you I woo

Through and through
And through and through
There's so much more than just a screw
Inside of you

And I was blizzard blind
Felt like I've lost me mind
But you've treated me so kind
I don't know what to do.

10 People with Unbelievable Medical Conditions

2009-06-05T16:08:00.002+07:00

They're not FUNNY
They're not AMUSING
Try to fill their shoes and have pity
And be grateful for being perfectly healthy ;)

==========================================================
The Woman Who has 200 Orgasms every day

UK's Sarah Carmen, 24, is a 200-a-day orgasm girl who gets good, good, GOOD vibrations from almost anything. She suffers from Permanent Sexual Arousal Syndrome (PSAS), which increases blood flow to the sex organs. "Sometimes I have so much sex to try to calm myself down I get bored of it. And men I sleep with don't seem to make as much effort because I climax so easily."

She believes her condition was brought on by the pills. "Within a few weeks I just began to get more and more aroused more and more of the time and I just kept having endless orgasms. It started off in bed where sex sessions would last for hours and my boyfriend would be stunned at how many times I would orgasm. Then it would happen after sex. I'd be thinking about what we'd done in bed and I'd start feeling a bit flushed, then I'd become aroused and climax. In six months I was having 150 orgasms a day—and it has been as many as 200."

She and her boyfriend split— and new partners struggle to keep up with her sex demands. "Often, I'll want to wear myself out by having as many orgasms as I can so they stop and I can get some peace," she said.

===============================================================

The Man Who Can't Get Fat

Mr Perry, 59, can eat whatever he likes - including unlimited pies, burgers and desserts - and never get fat. He cannot put on weight because of a condition called lipodystrophy that makes his body rapidly burn fat.

He used to be a chubby child, but at age 12 the fat dropped off "almost over night". He initially tried to eat more to gain weight, but it had no effect. Mr Perry, of Ilford in Essex, endured a decade of tests before the illness was diagnosed. It finally emerged that his body produces six times the normal level of insulin. Doctors have admitted that the condition would be a "slimmer's dream".

===============================================================

The Man Who Doesn't Feel Cold

Dutchman Wim Hof, also known as the Iceman, is the man that swam under ice, and stood in bins filled with ice. He climbed the Mt. Blanc in shorts in the icy cold, harvested world records and always stands for new challenges.

Scientists can't really explain it, but the 48-year-old Dutchman is able to withstand, and even thrive, in temperatures that could be fatal to the average person.

===============================================================

The Boy Who Couldn't Sleep: stayed awake 24 hours a day for years

Rhett Lamb is often cranky like any other 3-year-old toddler, but there's one thing that makes him completely different: he has a rare medical condition in which he can't sleep a wink.

Rhett is awake nearly 24 hours a day, and his condition has baffled his parents and doctors for years. They took clock shifts watching his every sleep-deprived mood to determine what ailed the young boy.

After a number of conflicting opinions, Shannon and David Lamb finally learned what was wrong with their child: Doctors diagnosed Rhett with an extremely rare condition called chiari malformation.

"The brain literally is squeezed into the spinal column. What happens is you get compression, squeezing, strangulating of the brain stem, which has all the vital functions that control sleep, speech, our cranial nerves, our circulatory system, even our breathing system," Savard said.

===============================================================

The Girl Who is Allergic to Water

Teenager Ashleigh Morris can't go swimming, soak in a hot bath or enjoy a shower after a stressful day's work - she's allergic to water. Even sweating brings the 19-year-old out in a painful rash.

Ashleigh, from Melbourne, Australia, is allergic to water of any temperature, a condition she's lived with since she was 14. She suffers from an extremely rare skin disorder called Aquagenic Urticaria - so unusual that only a handful of cases are documented worldwide.

===============================================================

The Woman Who Can't Forget

That's the story of AJ, an extraordinary 40-year-old married woman who remembers everything.

McGaugh and fellow UCI researchers Larry Cahill and Elizabeth Parker have been studying the extraordinary case of a person who has "nonstop, uncontrollable and automatic" memory of her personal history and countless public events. If you randomly pick a date from the past 25 years and ask her about it, she'll usually provide elaborate, verifiable details about what happened to her that day and if there were any significant news events on topics that interested her. She usually also recalls what day of the week it was and what the weather was like.

The 40-year-old woman, who was given the code name AJ to protect her privacy, is so unusual that UCI coined a name for her condition in a recent issue of the journal Neurocase: hyperthymestic syndrome.

===============================================================

The Girl Who Eats Only Tic Tacs

meet Natalie Cooper, a 17-year-old teenager who has a mystery illness that makes her sick every time she eats anything. Well, almost anything. She can eat one thing that doesn't make her sick: Tic tac mint!

For reasons that doctors are unable to explain, Tic tacs are the only thing she can stomach, meaning she has to get the rest of her sustenance from a specially formulated feed through a tube.

===============================================================

The Musician Who Can't Stop Hiccupping

Chris Sands, 24, from Lincoln, hiccups as often as every two seconds - and sometimes even when he is asleep. He has tried a variety of cures, including hypnosis and yoga, but nothing has worked. Mr Sands thinks his problem stems from an acid reflux condition caused by a damaged valve in his stomach. "If the acid levels are severe enough they are going to do keyhole surgery and grab part of my stomach and wrap it around the valve to tighten it," he said.

Mr Sands, who is a backing singer in the group Ebullient, said the condition has hampered his career as he has only been able to perform four times. In the next couple of weeks --as of the day of the report--, doctors at Nottingham's Queen's Medical Centre will put a tube into his stomach to monitor acid levels and decide if keyhole surgery is possible.

===============================================================

The Girl That Collapses Every Time She Laughs

Kay Underwood, 20, has cataplexy, which means that almost any sort of strong emotion triggers a dramatic weakening of her muscles. Exhilaration, anger, fear, surprise, awe and even embarrassment can also cause sufferers to suddenly collapse on the spot.

Kay, of Barrow-upon-Soar, Leicestershire (UK), who was diagnosed with the condition five years ago, once collapsed more than 40 times in a single day. She said: "People find it very odd when it happens, and it isn't always easy to cope with strangers' reactions. "

Like most cataplexy sufferers, Ms Underwood is also battling narcolepsy - a condition that makes her drop off to sleep without warning. Narcolepsy affects around 30,000 people in the UK and about 70 per cent of them also have cataplexy.

===============================================================

The Woman Who is Allergic to Modern Technology

For most people talking on a mobile phone, cooking dinner in the microwave or driving in a car is simply part of modern living in 21st century Britain. But completing any such tasks is impossible for Debbie Bird - because she is allergic to Cell Phones and Microwaves.

The 39-year-old is so sensitive to the electromagnetic field (emf) or 'smog' created by computers, mobile phones, microwave ovens and even some cars, that she develops a painful skin rash and her eyelids swell to three times their size if she goes near them. As a consequence, Mrs Bird, a health spa manager, has transformed her home into an EMF-free zone to try and stay healthy. 'I can no longer do things that I used to take for granted,' Mrs Bird said. "My day-to-day life has been seriously affected by EMF"..

Taken from this thread.

Loving Free Music From The Net?

2009-06-04T11:43:00.003+07:00

Ever downloaded a song from the internet? Well, me myself as well do it all the time! It just that it is so hard to find a song from abroad in local music store. They just sell the mainstream records. They dont even have a good collection of subpop's music I love the most! What's the other option than to download it then?

I also can recall in my late radio where I've been worked there for about 2 years more, where do you think they got the source for the music's bank? FROM THE FREE DOWNLOAD'S SOFTWARE :D It is just too expensive to have a complete collection of many music's genre when you dont get along with the labels yet :p

But then again, do you even have any idea what's the ideal software that you can use to download the audio file for free, yet getting no harm for your computer while you're having fun with your free files?

I read this short yet helping article about how and what and where you can listen to the music online. Also tells us about the software that you can use to download music online such as Napster and Kazaa, also let you know how the peer-to-peer file sharing model works (me myself dont know at all about it before, but Im pretty aware now!) It also tells about the risk that you could get just by logging in to the system and the lawsuit you might never heard before. It pretty risky I can tell you ;)

The most important thing this article has is the certain risks and problems our computer may exposed when we run peer-to-peer file-sharing software. You might wanna be more aware about this for your own sake.

So for all I know, you'll get many of usefull information by reading this article, especially when you named yourself music lovers, as I am :)

KISSING A FOOL

2009-06-03T15:16:00.007+07:00

Remembering someone and his kisses...

A kiss is the touching of one person's lips to another place, which is used as an expression of affection or to show respect, and as a greeting or a farewell. Kissing can be used to express romantic affection or sexual desire. The word comes from Old English cyssan "to kiss", in turn from coss "a kiss". It is generally considered one of the strongest ways to show affection.

Which one is better?

To kiss the one you love

Or to be kissed by the one who loves you?

What is exactly the greatest thing about kissing? Ever heard of kissing a fool? Ever kissed by a fool or kissed a fool? Why is it have to be called fool? What is so fool about kissing?

They say thay kissing allows prospective mates to smell and taste each other's pheromones for biological compatibility. Woman are subconsciously more attracted to men whose major histocompability complex portion of their genome is different from their own, leading to offspring with resistance to a greater number of diseases due to heterosis, and thus having a better chance of survival. This explains why couples are more likely to bond if they have the right "chemistry.

Uh huh?

Once in my life I used to be so stupid and maybe deserved to be called fools, when someone for the first time touched my lips with his, and I just shut mine tightly and guess don’t reach like what he was expect me to be.

Well, that’s my very first kiss. Which leads to millions other kisses in my life. What so funny is, my very first stupid kisser never even give an effort to kiss me anymore after that. 6 damn months after that without any kiss? Wow! Get real!

Remember when I was so eager to satisfy him with my so godamn sexy lips in his, but then he never let me to! Darkest time haha

The second kisser goes better. But dunno, have you kissed without feeling anything? Not even any butterfly effects clinging in your stomach? Not even the joy and the intimacy? You just kiss. You just kiss to satisfy your kiss-mate? That’s what happened with my second kisser. Damn meaningless and regretful. Ups. Did I say regret? Sorry. Correction. No regret. Just meaningless. Never regret a kiss!

Go to the third kisser. My third kisser so far my best kisser. He is an expert! Every kiss leads to longing for another great kisses. I love to kissed him. I don’t really feel the butterfly *or maybe there’s no such thing as butterfly lives in mine* but I feel the satisfaction after every kiss we had. Hmm… I felt loved. I used to refuse believing in the idea that romance needs intimacy started from a very simple thing like holding hand, caressing and kissing, and what I would never do before I get married, making love *or having sex? What term you choose?* but after I’m with my third kisser, I know it bitter but true. Yeap. What can I say then? But I guess my lip-mate not my soulmate. Didn’t end up well with my third kisser. To be a great kisser doesn’t help you stop from being a jerk once you really are!

Something funny is I missed the kissing thing for about two month and that’s not so nice! See, I even believe the idea that kissing can reduce your stress! Don’t believe it? How about try it? And as a Capricornean, with rightly proud I’m telling, that our kiss is a stress killer! Tempted? Haha

Now I got him. My fourth kisser who I really desire to be my last kisser. Please dear. To be honest I don’t feel the butterfly or the passionate things, but the love we share flooding over us, and I wouldn’t replace it for anything else. I love to kiss when it comes to a perfect moment, like one we had just before saying another goodbye in the middle of the night in front of me house silently softly and glimpsely. The kiss captured me!

So you see, for me kissing is something precious. Not to be done with someone who doesn’t deserve to. Gotta be done in a perfect moment. And it not just about lust but it contains love. Am I being corny? Well, I always do

To My Dear Indonesian Bloggers

2009-06-03T11:07:00.004+07:00

Hey YOU all my dearest Indonesian Bloggers

Do Please read my post here about Prita Mulyasari :)

And post your own about the issue if you'd like to.

Unprofessional act by StoneRocket admins

2009-06-01T10:24:00.005+07:00

Written by Vei on freewebspace.net, another thread can also be found here.
Quote:

I recently sign up with stonerocket, tried to get a free hosting there to test things out with some CMS.
Things worked out fine until tonight I got a warning message about one of my post on their forum.

Please read carefully on this topic: http://www.stonerocket.net/forum/vie...p?f=16&t=14493
Just in case the post is removed, please take a look at this image.

After the guy locked the forum, I post another one explaining that I didn't mean to attack him through a forum post. I just want to make it clear that I didn't do anything wrong and want my warning removed. And want them to consider the post as a member comment to improve the community in the future but I don't think they want to listen.

Then I was banned permanently with a reason of Childish Behavior after posting another topic explaining that the admins should've more friendly and open minded on any issues because I post what I have in mind on the right sub-forum (Comments & Suggestions).

Quote:

Comments and Suggestions
We value your opinion! Please say your likes and dislikes in here and please suggest ways to improve StoneRocket

They're really not valued my opinion, they're doesn't want any open discussion about their admin's actions and decided just to give me a permanent ban.
I don't feel it's right, but I don't have the power to make things right there if the administrators are acted like that. Give warnings, lock discussion, ban people without any valid reason just because they have power to do that. Now who's being childish here?

This kind of thing can be avoided if we're all stay chill and open minded on any discussion.
And since I don't think that I will welcomed back there I would suggest them to be more fair to their members, and stick to the rules they made (I don't see that) to establish a good community.

*this post does not mean to advertise other free hosting provider.
*I've also post on various forum discussion because once again I want to make it clear and I don't feel like being treated fair as a member at StoneRocket.

And if digitalvei site is unavailable, the site will be back soon due to this issue, planning on moving it to a better host.

My Mother and Motherly Issues ...

2009-05-30T19:17:00.001+07:00

As your mother, I just want you to learn your lesson!

When I'm a mother, I will be nothing like you.

Yes, you say that now, but just wait.

Imagine what kind of mother said that to her daughter. Or try to cinsider why would a daughter said something like that to her mother.

Maybe because her mother argue with hers before

It wasnt up to you to decide what kind of live i should have

what does it means to be a mother than to make sure that her daughter has to life hes destiny

but i want to create my own destiny.. But that would have meant losing you, and i was always too afraid to do that

Do you want to be like your mother? Be anything like her. Personally modelling her? Be exactly the kind of wife and mum your mother is? Most of a daughter would say so. Me not. Like the girl above, I will give my best effort to not be like her! Oke, it's not nothing like her. It just mostly not her. She's no longer my role model since I dont know, junior high?

Why must a mother feel that she had to figure out her child destiny and fate? Why cant a mother let her child to learn and grow by herself, with her being there when they needed her, but not be them, or decided where to go and what to do? Most of this kind of mother will shout to me "you dont have a right to say! you're not a mother yet! when you're a mother you'll know."

Yes, I hope I will. I hope I will know when to lean on and when to lean back. I hope I know when to be just rigth where I supposed to be. I hope I will know what to say and when to say. I hope I will know too when to be quiet and listen. And I really do hope that I will remember how it was to be a daughter that her mother disbeliefe and doubting.

I wanna be a better mother and I know I wil. I have my journals to remind me. I learned my developmental Psychology. I figured out my feeling. I know. I have to.

Do I hate my mother? I love her. It just that I hate her when she's pulling herself that I hate from her. She hesitate me. She controls me in many ways. She never even teach me how to cook but she told me how to hate. She disrespect all my decision. She hates all my boyfriend without any reasonable reason *she just said that its an motherly instict* She keeps a distance from us, her children, yet extremely nice to her friends. She's whining and whining and whining and has everyone to blame but herself. She dissapointed to me in many ways I dont think I deserve. She swears on us and hope for many bad things many times inspite of hoping what's best for us even when she doesnt know what we will become. She never be grateful for what she have. She made me cries many times more than a man could made me. She demands many things from me, since she wants me to be what she failed to be. Herself.

I cant leave her. I love her. Im not gonna abandoned her. She's my mother and her blessing's my heaven. I will try to stood still, even when Im hurt, just like now. Im not gonna let her screwing me even when she keeps bugging me. I am older and wiser, I cant just let a motherly issue breaks me. I am gonna keep a distance, just to keep it down.

But I am not her, and I dont wannabe her. I dont want to live her track, or the path she wants me through. Im going to live my own. I have my believe. I believe Im gonna make it. I just need her blessing, even when she disagree with the way Im going through. I dont need her hesitating me. I need her to believe me. I need her to let me be me. I need her to stop telling me, and yelling at me just to be her. I know she's unsatisfy with her life, and has a lot of things going on with my grandmother back then. But what makes her think Im gonna be just like her? Im not.

I hate her, but I hate myself when I hate her. I love her still, I just cant be her. And I wont. I will not. I will be a better mother than she ever was. I owe myself that even before my daughter to be. I know better. And better I will be.

GREY'S ANATOMY VS SCRUBS

2009-05-28T15:47:00.002+07:00

TV series? Im a big fan! But not anything Indonesian :p I stop loving them since "Janjiku" (GOD its my guilty pleasure!) Two of TV Series that I collected are SCRUBS and GREY'S ANATOMY. Both are once recommended by friends.

Talking about my favorite, they still lose it to FRIENDS. Ah... Even its not that great, I love FRIENDS BEST! :D But SCRUBS and GREY'S are also good.

Let me compare them, in my own humble opinion as someone who love to watch, not at all an expert of film industries or something. They both has an equal core, since both are telling about how is it to live as a doctor, in their own perspective.

I can tell you, just before I watch these series (I didnt watch ER, not my era) I dont think of doctors as a human being. Haha I know they're people, but I cant even think about them in relationship, joking, or even having sex! They just doctors. No more no less.

Grey's Anatomy has Meredith Grey as the leading role. We see through episodes by episodes by a prologue and epilogue from her. The story takes place in Seattle Grace Hospital. It is one of the best teaching hospital there. She entered the hospital as a first year surgeon's intern with 20 others. Trying to get a real life with a very hectic job and messy love line, plus family issues (no wonder this girl looks so old). Not only tells about her, but also her 4 intern's group friend, Christina, Alex, Izzie and George. With their own characters and have their own stories. The competition, the self-recognition, friendship between them and the residents and attendings and others make a very good drama! Something that I dont really appreciate is why in this kind of series (the one where your job is your life), exchange partner is something that as if is a must! She's with him, she broke up with him, he's with her friend, she's dating his whatsoever bla bla bla. It's chunky a first, but it's not anymore after 5 seasons. I just watch the 5th season and I dont find it as amusing as when I first saw it (marathonly :p) So Grey's Anatomy is just something that I watch since there's nothing better to see.

Now SCRUBS. GOD I LOVE THIS SHOW! A little bit different from Grey's Anatomy where all the people's are surgeons, SCRUBS is more like General's doctor having an issue to surgeons. Silly, because one of the leading role is a surgeon.

As in Grey's Anatomy, we have here John Dorian as the leading role that narate the stories. Silly yet so cute doctor which is very busy with his own mind and having the best stupid expression! Yeap. SCRUBS is more like a comedy, but it has its own drama. But you dont focus on the drama. It pictures the life in the hospital. The hope, the dreams, again, the competition and relationship they have. There's not as much characters here as in Grey's Anatomy. JD, Turk, Elliot, Carla and Perry Cox are the main characters with their own style. And the love line's not as complicated as in Grey's either. Its more natural, with a touch of some exaggerate fools that makes is really worth to collect! To cheer you up! ;)

So when it comes to the story, I prefer SCRUBS then Grey's Anatomy.

But hey! Grey's not that bad. It still a good drama, and also has the BEST SOUNDTRACK EVER!

Gosh... there's so many list of songs this serial used, and I cant decided what's my favorite since I love most of them! Tegan and Sara, Lenka, Inggrid Michaelson, and many more!

Scrubs's OST is good, but Grey's Anatomy's OST is AWESOME!

But they have one song in common, that i guess it's somekind of a must when you make a show about a hospital life. THE FRAY's How To Save a Life! I love that song too!

Hm... Im waiting for the 8th season of SCRUBS to get in Indonesia right now. My downloaded file's not have good quality, so I guess I better wait. But for all I know, its not getting tenuous like at all, it just getting funnier! :D

Ah... my Indonesian film-maker... Just tell me when I can find something atleast half as good as them? Not more and even much more craps on local TV?

QUOTES : GREY'S ANATOMY

2009-05-27T10:10:00.002+07:00

Im gonna write about Grey's Anatomy later. Meanwhile this is one of my favorite quote from that TV Show

If you don't wanna craps happen to you, stop accepting it and demand something more
-Christina Yang, Grey's Anatomy

True that sometimes we do hate all the craps that keep happening to us, but not rarely, we do nothing to stop it and adjust with it. Why should we when we can stop accepting it rather than keep saying to ourself that this is just the way it is, because its not always like that! How to? Oh, you think about it yourself. You deal your craps, I deal with mine.

FATTY FATSO FAT FAT FAT

2009-05-24T18:30:00.002+07:00

Lately when I accidentaly ran into someone that I havent met in a while, they intend to ask me, "Hey... have you married? Are you pregnant? How months?". Really. Some of them asking me seriously with their excited-to-hear-a-good-news look. I usually ignore it and talk about something else but me and away from my-pregnant-belly! But sometimes when I think I wont see them again for a long time, I will say that this is my third month. And they believe it and congrat me. Silly? Nope. That's pathetic my dear.

I dont know why I've been extremely weighing for the last six months. I even reached 155 pounds! That's not normal since Im just 168cm. Maybe because my bad eating habit. And to make it worse, its been a lifetime since I exercising. GOD my fat ass makes me lazy! My outfits failed me.. and I even got a strech mark on my tummy! Damn. I might have to remind you.. IM NOT PREGNANT! I HAVENT EVEN MARRIED YET!

Just tell me the fastest way to loose my weight. I cant do a diet. I cant stop eating. I eat when im stressed, and I've been very stressed out since Im jobless and prideless. A moment on the lips forever on the hips saying doesnt work for me! What should I do? What should I do? Im three times bigger than my man! Thats not normal!

Geez Im panicking!

Quotes : FRIENDS

2009-05-24T18:15:00.005+07:00

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Joey: Hey can you imagine if the chick and the duck had a baby? we could name it Chuck!

Chandler: ...or.. Dick.

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Joey: "Hey Ross I got a science question. If the homosapians, were in fact HOMO-sapians, is that why they're extinct?"

Ross: "Joey, Homosapians are... people."

Joey: "Hey I'm not judging."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ah Joey Tribbiani...

You always make my day! :D

What do you think your baby is for?

2009-05-23T00:43:00.000+07:00

I am not yet a parent, but I know and I will must be. And when I am one, I promise myself that me and my life's partner will be that great parents that I always want to have. Im giving my childs that.

But you know how stupid some parents can be sometimes? And how they can easily forget what's the real meaning of having child?

I found one this afternoon on my way back home. Here in Bandung we called the public transportation angkot. Since i have no own vehicle, thats what i ride every single day. That's so much to be complained about this angkot things. But let me do that later. This time let me tell you about this one passenger in my angkot home that nauseated me so damn much!

By his posture I can tell that he's an early thirty years old man, with a toddler he hold in his arms. Beside him there was this lovely lady that I guess my age and she was smiling to the cute baby.

And the stupid father, I cant remember why and what's been happening, but i heard him said to his baby, "come on... ask the pretty lady beside you, nice lady, can i have your phone numbers..." with the baby voice he made. His son was very fussy and said something that no one can get, not even his stupid father. But the father didnt stop right there. He continued smiling and speaking in a stupid voice to his baby, "ask her dear lady, do you have a boyfriend yet? will you be my father date?" and smiling to the poor girl beside him that I could tell that she's even more nauseated that i was and looked very uncomfortable while that stupid man kept looking at her and smiling disgustingly! And the baby? He cried....

WHAT THE HELL WERE YOUR STUPID HEAD THINKING HEY YOU FILTHY MAN!

Do you think that you're baby's some kind of flirting material? Or was that really your baby? I cant tell it for sure even when you refer to yourself as dad to him, since you're so inappropriate as a father! No wonder your wife left you with the baby! You're so nauseatingly unbelieveable! I would love to kick your ass if only i were that poor lady!

What kind of parent use their baby as a magnet to trick the opposite sex? The irresponsible one! And no doubt about it, if his parenting style as bad as his flirting, that poor baby's gonna end up just exactly like him. Oh God, bless him with a better role model for his own good.

I dont know what kind of parent me and my partner will be. But not that one for sure!!!

Jobless, Prideless...

2009-05-23T00:17:00.001+07:00

My father called my this evening. It's been a while since the last time he called me just to ask how am I doing. He used to call my youngest brother, the apple of daddy's eyes thats him. I dont really care. Im not jealous or what. It is true that I dont have a good communication's quality with my dad, but its not a matter anymore. I love him, he loves me, we're not really a happy family, but we're good. We're fine.

But this evening he called. Me. Asked how I've been doing. He didnt ask much about anything else but one. What am I doing, like really doing with my life right now.

Why did you quit that announcing job you said you love? Do you really quit? What would you do next? You dont want to continue your study that I can understand, but now what you've been doing since you finish your study? Dont you want to get a job? Dont you want to try to go to Jakarta? Sort of thing... But what a great daddy I have. At the end, he just said Okay... you do what you want to do, but rethink about it good. And if you're kind of broke (like i actually am :p) just let me know (and I wont do this unless im dying and i really have to...the last bite of my pride speaking)

Okay. I admit it. Im J O B L E S S. This stupid internship as a school counselor that I've been doing for my last two months doesnt seems promising. Still Im clueless what to do for the next two months when I've finished this program. I dont have a true license to be a counselor. I need to attend somekind of training program that will cost me at least 2 millions. Where the hell I can get that much money? Nope. Im not about to ask anything more from my parents than their monthly charity for me. Im not gonna do that. But what should I do then?

U're gonna easily say, "GET A JOB!". Dont you think im trying to? I send some applications to several companies and none of them reply. Im ignored. Thats sucks since I never think of myself as a looser before. But now I begin to. Hate it to my very cell.

Am I being unrealistic and idealistic or even daydreamer to expect a job that I would really love? That I will be doing it with all my heart even when it seems unworthy for everybody else.

But now the worst thing is... I dont even know what i want to do. Im not really sure. Think i've lost my dreams, that i cant even remember what is it in the first place. Im blurred. By my own lost. Lost in this prideless hell just because i've been jobless for so long.

Dont ask me about shame. I am humiliated. My mother thinks that i am humiliating. My dad never even once said it to my face, but im afraid he begins to lost his faith on me.

Am i a failure? GOD, please dont let me be. I cant let them down. Not my parents. Not my loved one. Not my younger bro and sis. Not myself! I will pull mybest to be better! I just dont find the way yet...

Lord... what is it thats waiting for me behind all of this darkest time? Im hanging here. Im trying. I dont want to loose this little faith i still have.inside me. That i soon will, be what i really want to be in mylife. I dont want to loose that little hope that lights my days. Show me my way, Robb.. Amien.

SEX Position

2009-05-22T11:37:00.000+07:00

and what did u expecting anyway?

DAMN!

2009-05-21T20:49:00.001+07:00

DAMN! My blog got reset!!!! AAAARRRRRHHHHH!!!

It's gonna take a while!!!!

I know mine is new... Still i've been adding many widgets and it just gone!!!

Hiks... lost my mood :(

BROKEN

2009-05-20T23:35:00.005+07:00

I'm wondering is it a broken hearted season? Is that why it so rainy lately? Dunno. The thing is I see a heart broken everywhere surround me. I can tell from their status or notes on facebook, or they actualy told me in person what happened... or the just gimme some signs that I have to figure out what's wrong.

Some of them ended their relationships. Which is a good thing they do it now, not after a marriage. That would be so much worse than now. Yes, I know the heart knows no different when it's broken. Hurt. That's it. No more no less. And its not only about relationship. It’s about life. Wondering how a things can turned you down and hopeless… cant feel your feet on the ground. But do you believe in an old saying that everything happens for a reason? I do believe. There's a reason beyond your pain, your tears, your loss. The mistery will revealed. Later. Can you wait?

This is a song that got me through my hard time *considering broke up with my latest ex is hard by then :p* I first heard this song on my way home to Bandung from Bekasi, after alot of crying season with my BFF Meiska. I don't know this song before. I don't even know who sang it. I just felt that she sang to me. I can't get the lyrics out of my mind, thou I just remember one line I have been hurt and I know only time will tell, time will heal.

Thanks for a billion times to technology! I googled it, and I find it. The song that lift me up perfectly! BROKEN by ELISA. She's not a very popular singer in Indonesia. Most of my friends never even heard of her. But I'm a fan now. Atleast for this great one song she sang that gave me strength and hope. Just what I need on a darkest time. I share it to my partner, and this song is memorable for us. We might even gonna play it for our wedding's playlist :D

You can download the song here. Meanwhile, here's the lyrics.

Hard times flowing and my eyes
couldn't see stars shining
My heart couldn't feel the
beauty of the rising sun
And I'm lost like a bottle that
floats in the sea for ever
Will somebody pick up my hope?
Will somebody try?
Will I realize?

'cause it's broken broken
Something got broken like stolen
Stolen, like if it was stolen
And hurting, hurting
I have been hurting and now
Only time will tell
Time will heal

Just pieces of truth that I chose to keep and
No matter if now they are gone
No matter if I am alone
Still I can get back on my feet and walk on
As I know there was something to learn
I know there will always be
more worth moving on for

Though, it's broken broken
Something got broken like stolen
Stolen, like if it was stolen
And hurting hurting
I have been hurting and now
Only time will tell

I'd love to be one of those
colorful early summer days
When everybody is happy that you came
Everybody smiles back at you
as soon as your eyes cross
their eyes
But something has to happen first
I know winter has to come before it blossoms

So it's broken broken
Something got broken like stolen
Stolen, like if it was stolen
And hurting hurting
I have been hurting and now
Only time will tell
Time will heal

Be strong dear ;)

To My Beloved

2009-05-19T00:15:00.005+07:00

30 things for your 30s

1. I'm not ok to pet, that I hope U get

2. Smoking is BADDDDDDD

3. When you don't like what people do to you, let them know

4. But just don't be rude... you could sometimes

5. Smile to a sucker makes you rise above

6. It's not OK not to reply my messages like at all

7. 66 pounds it's not a normal 30 years old man weight... not even for a little man like you! So stop smoking!

8. Get mad to me when I do you wrong, that's ok... but let me understand later... we are just as same stubborn.

9. Keeping any pictures of your exes even when you said it's an art is NOT GOOD

10. Don't sleep late, and don't sleep too long.

11. When you're still living at your mother's, try to do the dishes yourself

12. Always use that glasses. I love how you look with it ;)

13. I'm sorry I cant give you anything for your birthday today... :(

14. Use underwear might do you good ;)

15. Never use that red shirt again. You look like an eleven years old boy. I know your mum loves it, but i don't. I hate it.

16. Start saving, please.

17. You're sometimes a bigger whiner that I am. Make it less.

18. I don't care about how you were or what you had. I care about who and how and what you are and will. You better do too.

19. I love when I think you need me. I'm a needy for a needy.

20. Remind me constantly that you love me.

21. Yeah, ok. Loving Stephen Seagel is normal, even for you :p

22. Surround yourself with that positivity once made me fall for you. Don't ever loose it.

23. When I give you vitamins, you consume it!

24. Make a template for this blog of mine, please :D Greeny and clovery one if you don't mind ;)

25. I'm not a big hearted creature with a great sense of patience. Please remember our dreams and make it real. Don't make me lose my hope.

26. Don't get turned on just everywhere :p

27. Don't runaway from a shitty situation. Face it. Im with you.

28. Keep your libido high, and make that genes you have with normal, not at all on mutation. You still owe me a cute and smart baby!

29. I'm waiting for "the ring"

30. I love you, still and more...

FINN'S GIRL

2009-05-18T14:20:00.001+07:00

This is one of the movie i recently saw.

“Satisfyingly adult in its depiction of female sexuality” - that’s an endorsement from LA Weekly for this movie.

The cover’s poster is two woman holding each other tight and smiling happily, as they’re in love. So i guess this is a lesbian movie, right? But not the one you find in porn or something! Nope… stop hoping for that.

This is a film by Dominique Cardona (i don’t even know who Cardona is) that won Jury Award, Best Feature Talent of Fire Island Film and Video Fest and the winner of Outstanding Emerging Talent of Outfest LA Gaust Film Fest. That supposed to mean something, right? That this movie’s atleast good even it’s not great. I tend to watch movie that won many award, no matter what it is, so i thought this would be good.

But I don’t know. I just don’t get this movie or what’s the point of the movie anyway. So this is a film about a lesbian, but a widow lesbian. Dr. Finn Jefferies is a thoroughly modern lesbian, far to feisty and happy to ever bother hiding her sexuality. But then she lost her beloved lover, Nancy, who left her with an eleven years daughter Zelly Bean. Finn’s not the motherly type, that was Nancy, and she has never be that close with Zelly.

As an abortion practice doctor, Finn’s too busy with her own life to give a good attention to her only daughter. The situation become worse when she gets some threats from people who hate her business. Covered by two police, she try to save her own life and trying hard not to give up the clinic she and Nancy established. While Zelly, doing her ways to get Finn’s attention with shoplifting, smoking dope and skipping school.

Finn really could not cope with her new role as a single parent for Zelly and that’s making her stress out. She loves Zelly too much but she just doesn’t know how to let her know. There’s another truth that she’s been hiding for so long and the time has come for the truth to come out.

But the ending of this movie was just too flat. There’s no good climex provided. Not even the matter’s of lesbian’s issue that this movie seems want to pull, but it just failed. Well, interested anyway?

A Little Treat. with Lulur Bali Sekar Jagad

2009-05-18T14:04:00.000+07:00

Have you ever been go to Bali? Well, i highly suggest you to! The beautiful view, the beautiful beach, the great beauty of nature’s perfectly there. Land of God anyway!Me? Ugh... Its been a damn long time! :p

Maybe for all this time all you knew about Bali is how great the beach and the view and all, but this one is the great thing Bali gives you... and me! :D

Lulur Bali Sekar Jagad is a great herbal cosmetic that you can use for scrubbing your body. There’s so many Lulur there in Bali, but Lulur Bali Sekar Jagad is one of the best! It is cheap and packaged in a small round tube. One tube can be used for about three times of scrubbing.

The application of Lulur Bali Sekar Jagad is just that simple. You just have to spread it all over your dry body, left it for about five minutes to let it stick perfectly there, and then you rub it over and over until it’s fall of with your grimes. Rub it for about twenty minutes from your top to toe, and then wash it with warm water. You will feel you skin’s completely soft and smooth, and nicely fragrant!

What makes it so good? It contains a lot of Milk Protein and Olive Oil plus Coconut Oil. Skin’s food it is ;) There’s many kind of fragrance for this Lulur Bali Sekar Jagad. There’s green tea, that’s very good for shinning your skin. Also lemonade to freshen and lift your mood. But my favorite is strawberry! Is is so nice to smell your own skin after you done using this strawberry Lulur Bali Sekar Jagad. It feels like I am a strawberry youghurt or something, with a very smooth skin.

There’s no doubt that the herbal cosmetic’s the better one for your daily use, and so as Lulur Bali Sekar Jagad! Try it and make your skin happy! :)

I am making mine happy.. a good treat for me before i treat my partner on his birthday tomorrow! :D DOH! Still cant find anything to give him! Me covered with whipped cream and cherry? Hahahaha I doubt it :p

Repost : Does Love Need a Reason?

2009-05-18T01:58:00.000+07:00

Lady : Why do you like me..? Why do you love me?

Man : I can't tell the reason.. but I really like you..

Lady : You can't even tell me the reason...
how can you say you like me? How can you say you love me?

Man : I really don't know the reason, but I can prove that I love you.

Lady : Proof? No! I want you to tell me the reason. My friend's boyfriend can tell her why he loves her but not you!

Man : Ok..ok!!! Erm...
because you are beautiful,
because your voice is sweet,
because you are caring,
because you are loving,
because you are thoughtful,
because of your smile,
because of your every movements

The lady felt very satisfied with the answer. Unfortunately, a few days later, the
Lady met with an accident and became comma.
The Guy then placed a letter by her side, and here is the content:

Darling,

Because of your sweet voice that I love you...
Now can you talk? No! Therefore I cannot love you.

Because of your care and concern that I like you..
Now that you cannot show them, therefore I cannot love you.

Because of your smile, because of your every movements that I love you..
Now can you smile? Now can you move? No, therefore I cannot love you...

If love needs a reason, like now, there is no reason for me to love you anymore.

Do love need a reason? NO!

Therefore, I still love you...

And love doesn't need a reason.

"Sometimes the best and the most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen, cannot be
touched, but can be felt in the heart."

I Love When It Rain

2009-05-18T01:25:00.000+07:00

i love when it rain…

i’ll let my self get soaked in

let it take away all the pain

the sorrow

the regret

the fear

the hesitate

the hatred

and wash it over

to come clean…

to be pure as once…

let it pouring down on me…

to let me be me

like i always long to be…

i love when it rain

Marry Me... Would U?

2009-05-16T18:31:00.001+07:00

What is it about a marriage that i love so much? Was it the wedding itself? The life after it? The ideas of never be lonely again when it comes to bed, and open my eyes in the very next day? The hopes of having a great little lovely family that will stick to you and make my life full?

Well, if you asked me, Im afraid im not gonna be able to answer it. I dont know. I dont know exactly what is it that makes me want to get marry, and not just get it in time, i want it soon! I am craving for a marriage!

I love myself. I love my single life, I love my family, I love my relationship with my boyfriend. Im not complaining anything. But I want more.

For me, marriage is somekind of reassurement *that’s not even a word :p* That I am not alone, that I have someone, that eventually me and my partner are gonna be better for we are together, that Im gonna have a better purpose of life. Dont i have them now? No. Not really. I used to labeled myself insecure, lonely and neurotic. That's not what you love from yourself. That's not what I love. And since I know, and realize, that I have a bonding and relationship issues for whole time, I want to make a change. A change in me. A change in my life. I need to have that security feeling. I need to stop doubting, hesitating. I need to be settled.

That is why I wanna get married. Soon. ASAP. I think Im ready. Im not impulsive. Im confident. That is something I earn. I WANT TO BE MARRIED. I WANT A MARRIAGE. My partner does to. We are ready. We want it. We're not ready financially. That's sucks.

They said marriage cots like a billion. It is very expensive. And we dont have the money we need for the wedding. I never want it anyway. I just need a simple wedding. The most important thing is that we're registered. Legal. Legitimate. And not sinful just to have sex :p *GOD I want to have sex!* I dont need craps!

What about the day after? We'll figure something out. We must. We have to. We'll responsible. GOD... am I being idealistic? Am I unrealistic? Someone said i am once. But this is what I want for mylife. This is what I've been longing since forever. To have a family on my own. Life could be sucks, marriage could be hard. But we're all survivor, arent we? Dear love, we're gonna survive, right? I’m not afraid. I believe we can manage and control goods. After all, its all whats in our head that lead.

Then why aren't they approved? Why parents dont want their child to be happy? Why they dont see it out of their own perspective? And you, the love of mylife... Will you struggle for us? Will you grow up and take care of us? Will you be the strength I needed, since I dont have it with me?

GOD I wanna get married...